Q4 Clue 655 | Pleasing
Pleasing. What about the different styles? How do we deal with this, and how can we stop it?
How do you stop it? By stating your boundaries, which often means entering into a (minor) conflict. So basically, by deploying your D-style! By the way, it is not like that this style never pleases. What if it is your boss or someone you look up to? But whether that commands respect…
Seeking recognition and approval is inherent to this style. Keeping it enjoyable and being nice to each other is fine. But all the time? How can you come across to others? As an opportunist, as manipulative? They also appreciate you when you set your boundaries. Probably even more so.
Being helpful to others, considering others, saying sorry frequently. These are all recognisable aspects of this style. Helping someone is, of course, fine, but when does it start to become pleasing? Is it sincere, or are you doing it more for yourself? Be aware of this, and then learn to say no…
Pleasers can be people who never feel they are good enough—a form of being inferior, looking up to others, wanting to be just as perfect. But even the most perfect perfectionist had to learn, makes mistakes and is far from perfect at everything!